This past week, Jocelyn, Stacey, Jennifer and I met with the Family Therapist expert from the Marilyn Denis Show. His name is Joe Rich. If you want, you could read up on him here: http://www.joerich.ca/about.htm However, if you just want to read about our experience, read on. Any time you hear the word "therapist" you sort of are a little nervous. My friend, Della, is a therapist, and she said that lots of times people don't like to talk to her because they feel uncomfortable. In their minds, they feel like she is analyzing them. Let me tell you, we were no different. Jenn called me about three times asking me why is he coming and what will he do or ask? I had no idea. I jokingly said that maybe that could be a show on its own! LOL
Joe walked in our house all smiles and introduced himself to Vince, Stacey, Campbell and myself. We sat in the kitchen, Stacey, Joe and I, as we waited for Jocelyn and Jenn to arrive for the appointment. Joe said he liked people and he loves an adventure. He then said that we were starting a new adventure. He had a very easy way of speaking and joked a lot! I loved the way that he put Jennifer at ease fairly quickly. He said that he came as a person who likes people and adventures and wanted to know how excited we were for our new adventure. We all took turns sharing a little on how this "adventure" started. He then told us the angle that he was going to use on the first show. He asked us what our goal was and what was our motivation.
He said most people don't know what motivates them and are often surprised when they come to that realization or their a-ha moment. He gave a very good word description of what is a goal and what is a motivation. He explained this so easily for me to understand the difference. The goal for anyone is where they want to go - a measurable, tangible thing - or the destination or "vehicle". The motivation is the gas in the tank to take you there. Sounds simple doesn't it? Well, even though I thought I understood what he asked, I obviously didn't. He gave us a card and asked us to write our goal on one side and our motivation on the other. I wrote one goal on one side, and then found out I wrote two goals on the other!
Stacey was the only one that got it! He then said she had enough motivation to take her to her destination and then back again! hahahahaha! After a bit of reflection, both Jocelyn and Jennifer could express their motivation... me? I sat there with an anxious look! Joe then said that Jocelyn had enough gas in her tank to get her there and Jennifer had gas to start off, and he then turned and looked at me and said that I didn't even have a syphon hose!!!! hahahahahahaa!! Nailed it! It really is a deep reflection. I think I am distracted by the goals and I am going to have to look at what is going to motivate me, what is going to be my gas in my tank to take me to my goal.
Joe shared a lot of his own personal testimonies on different areas. He just put himself out there like a real person. It really put us at ease. A couple of times he had Jennifer laughing so hard and even extracted a "high five" when he mimicked a Marg moment. It was truly funny! Joe talked about our new found role as a family that others will be talking about - sometimes in a good way and other times not so much. However, he said that it would be easy to get discouraged but to bring to our minds a time when we were successful and it will help us get out of a slump. He said that he will honour the "public" Stahlbaum family and the "private" Stahlbaum family when he shares with a viewing audience. Again, this put a lot of us at ease. We believed him.
We really laughed a lot that night. He is really funny... if he ever wanted to give up his day job, he could get an agent as a stand up comic! He is actually hilarious! However, I asked him a serious question. Because we are a family, and we are working together with this challenge, there are going to be times when I, as the mom I am", will bug my kids to eat right or exercise. I just know me so well. Joe gave me the perfect advice and I'm so glad I asked this question before we really get started. He said, "The first time is asking or telling, the second time I say it is reminding, the third time it's said is nagging." He said I can only do steps one and two. He then expanded and said that we are not to say anything negative to each other or to anyone else about each other. We are to treat this challenge and each of us that are participating as sacred moments we are sharing. He said we are to treat it with the utmost respect it deserves. I am going to have to repeat this to myself over and over. I want this so bad for Jocelyn, Stacey, Jennifer and myself - also for Greg. He's working on this too without as much professional support.
This week we are starting the kick off! A pantry purge and a new fitness routine! Stay tuned!